B4: Low of the MPs

May 13th, 2008 gier

So it came to pass that in Khairy Jamaluddin’s debate on the Royal Address, he mentioned that the Selangor state government was implementing a “Projek Khinzir Raksasa” – the Mega Pig Project. This, of course, elicited shouts of protest from the opposition, asking for a retraction. Further, KJ went on “to talk of Pakatan Rakyat’s wild dreams of “flying carpets and turbans”, “flying rockets” and “flying pigs”“.

And so the baying pack that is the opposition started to froth at the mouth, turning parliament into bedlam (or at least a poor imitation of one, because we are not yet a 1st world parliament) … and somewhere in there, one of the opposition shouts back, “Babi Negeri!”

Wahlau! This babi issue got legs, I tells you. Babi here, babi there, babi in parliament – to complement the monkey and bigfoot.

Is there any other animal as maligned as the babi in Malaysia?

Posted in Mentera Moden, Politics | 1 Comment »

Babi the 3rd: Finger Action

May 4th, 2008 gier

Apparently, and this is absolutely true, we might someday be able to regrow limbs which may have gotten unattached from our bodies. According to a report on the BBC website, a man who had about half an inch of his finger sliced off have managed to get it regrown. No, it wasn’t stitched back on, it was regrown! And the report states further, the man had “complete feeling, complete movement.” Even his fingerprint was back.

This technology is still in its early stages, and would still take some time before it would be able to grow whole limbs, if ever. But if it does work, then it would be a great blessing for those who have lost a hand, a leg or more, including burn victims and cancer sufferers.

While this is great news, it does raise certain theological issues for Muslims, and Jews. This is because the technology uses cells from the lining of a babi’s bladder. Yep, the cells from the sack that holds a babi’s urine is what is used to regenerate human parts. I was imagining that if I had one of my fingers sliced off, and had it regenerated using babi’s bladder, what would the implications be?

Since can’t touch babi, can’t taste babi … I can’t touch myself with that finger, and I can’t lick that finger (before or after touching myself …) This might be problematic. Do I have to always keep a bucket of dirt in the shower, so that I can samak my finger everyday?

If, because I was feeling mischievous, I decided to go to a kenduri and dip my finger into the rendang, does that mean that I’ve contaminated the rendang, and made everyone eat some babi essence?

But the greatest question is, if I actually lost a finger, and that finger can be regenerated using babi bladder lining, would I:

a) Have 9 human fingers + 1 babi regenerated finger, thus regaining full mobility again, or

b) Have 9 human fingers and not risk having a babi regenerated finger for theological reasons?

I would choose a), and hope that God understands.

UPDATE 20080617: I think I should make clear here that the report made in the BBC linked above and all other similar reports regarding this finger regrowth thing is actually totally, absolutely rubbish. It has been debunked by Dr. Ben Goldacre in his Bad Science blog. I admit my gullibility in first believing what I read, but the lack of real evidence and peer review nagged at me. I should’ve trusted my instincts better. Having said that, it was still good for a joke.

Posted in Mentera Moden, You cannot make this up! | 1 Comment »