Cursing the Nation

August 25th, 2008 gier Posted in Mentera Moden | 1 Comment »

It all started with that Mahsuri lady. So, the husband wrongfully accused her of being naughty with some other dude while he was away and got her skewered. She bled white blood (probably bad case of leukemia) and cursed Langkawi for seven generations … resulting in a cluster of islands that was untouched and pristine. With clear waters and fantastic weather.

Legend then has it, the fourth Prime Minister of Malaysia lifted the curse on the islands after the seven generations were up, turning it into a tourist destination with no tax. Big hotels sprung up, cigarettes were cheap, that sort of thing. It resulted in an overpriced, crowded place which were no longer untouched and pristine. The waters stopped being so clear, but the weather didn’t change. Curse or no curse, God does not play dice.

Fast forward a few more years, and here we are.

These days, not really cursing la, more swearing … which is not that far from cursing, really. Then there’s also oathing with statutory declarations, with is not really swearing, but not that far also. A bit like cursing, actually.

If I were to summarise all the cursing swearing and oathing that’s been going on, it’d be like this:

“I swear, so help me God, under the Act from 1967, that I had a penis magicked by a bomoh so that I cannot see the face of the Mongolian model, shoved into my C4 strapped arsehole, witnessed by the wife of the Deputy Prime Minister, who prayed in a Hindu temple, which had no signs of penetration (t.r.o. the ACA with sexual favours) and does not involve any helicopters or submarines (except the butt diving kind), where my assistant was involved in the hotel room. I make this oathing and swearing under duress, with a few mistakes which were corrected by an Imam from Sabah who votes in Penang and works in Kuala Lumpur. This I declare, while being attacked by government funded islamist armed terrorist, in a Chinese temple.”

Yeah, that should about cover it. More than seven generations. At least twenty, I reckon.