Weekend comedy: The Bomoh Diploma

April 5th, 2009 gier

It’s a Sunday evening, on the arse-end of the weekend. Are you enjoys?

Some of you are normal people, with family and stuff like that. So you probably try not to read the comics, on paper form or online. But the weekend edition of the comics also contain as much comedy as the weekday ones.

This weekend, we were treated with a piece of news which touches on one of the pet subjects here at mentera.org:  Mystic beliefs and the charlatans who propagate them.

In the online version of the mainstream comic, The Star, we chanced upon an article titled: “University to offer Islamic Medical Course“. What is an Islamic Medical Course, you ask? Well, according to the article, and we shit you not, “The aim was to train Malay healers in the true teachings of Islam and to avoid “syrik and khurafat” (polytheism) practices in some Malay-Muslim communities.” That’s according to the Director of the Ministry of Health’s Traditional and Complementary Medicine (T&CM) Division.

The director went on to say that, “the graduates, who would be certified registered practitioners, would be self-employed to treat “santau” (a kind of deadly poison coupled with magical incantations) and other spiritual problems.”

Quite.

Further, “they might also be employed in selected government institutions in the future.”

And why not, eh?

It’s a two and a half year Diploma course. So, if I took the course myself, and passed, I can then pass you a name card like this:

Gier Mentera, (Dipl. Bomohlogy, University of Ontahmano)
Bomoh, Graduan Bumiputera
Pemegang Diploma Kursus Pembomohan
Pakar dalam memulihkan Santau, Rasukan Jin, Kayap, Pukau, Melatah,
dan Lain-lain Penyakit Rohani, Jasmani dan Seksologi.
Kelulusan diiktiraf Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia.

That would surely make you feel more confident, as I feel you up, chant mumbo-jumbo, spit on your face, read random verses from the Holy Book and so on. After all, I’d have a diploma to back me up, and one of my teachers would be Harun Din!

The Star was so excited by this news, they published it twice online, with different headlines. Here’s the other one: “Course on Islamic healing“.

The Malaysian Ministry of Health has a Traditional and Complementary Medicine Division. And we wonder why we’re doing shit at Science and Maths?

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