Babi the 3rd: Finger Action

May 4th, 2008 gier

Apparently, and this is absolutely true, we might someday be able to regrow limbs which may have gotten unattached from our bodies. According to a report on the BBC website, a man who had about half an inch of his finger sliced off have managed to get it regrown. No, it wasn’t stitched back on, it was regrown! And the report states further, the man had “complete feeling, complete movement.” Even his fingerprint was back.

This technology is still in its early stages, and would still take some time before it would be able to grow whole limbs, if ever. But if it does work, then it would be a great blessing for those who have lost a hand, a leg or more, including burn victims and cancer sufferers.

While this is great news, it does raise certain theological issues for Muslims, and Jews. This is because the technology uses cells from the lining of a babi’s bladder. Yep, the cells from the sack that holds a babi’s urine is what is used to regenerate human parts. I was imagining that if I had one of my fingers sliced off, and had it regenerated using babi’s bladder, what would the implications be?

Since can’t touch babi, can’t taste babi … I can’t touch myself with that finger, and I can’t lick that finger (before or after touching myself …) This might be problematic. Do I have to always keep a bucket of dirt in the shower, so that I can samak my finger everyday?

If, because I was feeling mischievous, I decided to go to a kenduri and dip my finger into the rendang, does that mean that I’ve contaminated the rendang, and made everyone eat some babi essence?

But the greatest question is, if I actually lost a finger, and that finger can be regenerated using babi bladder lining, would I:

a) Have 9 human fingers + 1 babi regenerated finger, thus regaining full mobility again, or

b) Have 9 human fingers and not risk having a babi regenerated finger for theological reasons?

I would choose a), and hope that God understands.

UPDATE 20080617: I think I should make clear here that the report made in the BBC linked above and all other similar reports regarding this finger regrowth thing is actually totally, absolutely rubbish. It has been debunked by Dr. Ben Goldacre in his Bad Science blog. I admit my gullibility in first believing what I read, but the lack of real evidence and peer review nagged at me. I should’ve trusted my instincts better. Having said that, it was still good for a joke.

Posted in Mentera Moden, You cannot make this up! | 1 Comment »

A Happy Ending for Developer in Melaka — You Cannot Make This Up!

November 12th, 2007 gier

I don’t really want to keep mentioning Malaysiakini, because I don’t want to keep pimping the site, even if it is a very good online comic. On the other hand, it’s rather easier to read than NST or Star. Anyway, today there’s a report about that housing developer guy in Melaka who made a police report against the former ADUN of Jasin[1] (it had to be Jasin, didn’t it?), regarding the return of a “donation” he made to UMNO Melaka and the Jasin division — after his approval permit to build houses on a swamp was revoked.

The latest is that he’s decided to rescind the police report after the former ADUN’s son agreed to give him back the money. Now, here are the salient points of the circus act:

• The developer claimed that the ADUN asked him to “contribute” to UMNO Melaka and UMNO Jasin a sum of RM 80,000 and RM 50,000 respectively in exchange for a contract to develop the swamp into a housing area. This was in 2003.
• Developer asked for receipt, but was not given — he paid in cash and and bank drafts …
• The Tsunami hit in December 2004.
• The development approval for the swamp was rescinded in 2005, so that the swamp can be a “zon penampan” — a defense zone I think — against tsunamis.
• Developer sends lawyer’s letters to the ADUN (cc-ed to the Prime Minister), asking for his money back. Former ADUN refused to reply.
• Developer met with former ADUN over Hari Raya and asked for his money back, but the former ADUN refused saying that he (former ADUN) is untouchable — because he is a former ADUN.
• Developer files police report in October 2007.
• Developer rescinds police report in November 2007.

The reason that the developer made the police report is, get this, “to inform the authorities that I have been cheated and do not want other people to say that my company is involved in corruption.”

Oh no! We don’t want people to think that paying off some politician dude in exchange for a contract is corruption. This is why we need a receipt for the transactions, duh!

The former ADUN, on the other hand, admitted to receiving the money on behalf of the two UMNOs, and said that it was a voluntary contribution by the developer as thanks for “previous development project approvals given by the state government.”

The former ADUN also questions the developer’s motive in raising this issue, stating (in the Bahasa Malaysia/Melayu version of the article) that “beliau tidak tahu menahu apa motif Lui membangkitkan perkara tersebut tetapi menyifatkan sebagai tuduhan berniat jahat[2].”

Anyway, turns out the from the developer’s perspective, it’s “all’s well that ends well” when the son of the former ADUN agreed to give him RM 130,000 back (not adjusted for inflation, obviously). The former ADUN said that he had no idea about any arrangements between his son and the developer and insists that there should be no reason to return any money back to that dude since it was a “contribution”.

The developer, on his part, hopes that no one views him askance for making the police report.

As for the Jasin MP, Dato’ Zakaria Mat Deros Dato’ Mohd Said Yusof[5] … well, he said that he has no idea what’s going on there but was compelled to mention that he heard that this story has been making the rounds in Jasin and surrounding areas. Well said, Dato’ Said!

[1] Well, Sungai Rambai, which I assume is a branch under the Jasin division.

[2] The “jahat” here one assumes is not the good kind like that associated with “papa”[3], but possibly more related to heinous acts most foul.

[3] If you don’t know what this refers to, then I’ll gladly inform you that it is a song by an artiste by the name of Cat Farish[4]. If you do know what it refers to … then you’ll know it’s very nice.

[4] No, not Farish Noor.

[5] Sorry, sometimes I can’t tell which is which.

Posted in Politics, You cannot make this up! | 1 Comment »